"I say, cheerio!" - "A Higher Calling"
"A computer only knows what it's been programmed to know..., a mind can think up infinite possibilities." - "Split Up"
"A wise man once said: 'I am defeated and know it only when I meet a human being from whom I am unable to learn.... anything.'" - "Split Up"
Store clerk: "Say, aren't you...uh...somebody?" Carmen: "We're all somebody." - "Moondreams"
"Timing is everything." - "A Date With Carmen, Part One"
"Think out your plan like a woman of action. Then act out your plan like a woman of thought." - "All for One"
"The worst part about being really good at something...is that someone's always coming along trying to prove that they're better at what you do." - "When it Rains"
"Competition's fine, but I'd rather someone showed me something they were good at. Then I'd really learn something, wouldn't I?" - "When it Rains"
"...the wiser you become, the more you have to learn." - "Deja Vu"
"There's no teacher like experience..." - "Deja Vu"
"...the quieter you become the more you hear." - "Deja Vu"
"The worth is in the craftsmanship. Work with me and you'll see the same applies to the perfect heist." - "Boyhood's End, Part 2"
"When you work with me, you do things my way." - "Boyhood's End, Part 2"
Carmen: "A famous writer, F. Scott Fitzgerald once said, 'Show me a hero, and I'll write you a tragedy.'" Player: "Meaning what, Carmen?" Carmen: "The tragedy here is that Lee's lack of maturity kept him form being a great detective or a great thief." - "Boyhood's End, Part 2"
Carmen: "A philosopher once said, 'Competition can make you stronger.'" Player: "Which philosopher said that?" Carmen: "Me!" - "The Tigress"
"Never let the enemy know your secrets." - "The Tigress"
"...it's talent and preparation that make things happen." - "Curses, Foiled Again"
"I refuse to be a prisoner of fear." - "Curses, Foiled Again"
"Like I always say detectives, you haven't a clue, 'til I give you one." - "Curses, Foiled Again"
"But if I were already perfect, I'd have nothing to strive for." - "Birds of a Feather"
Reporter: So as you can see from our report, Carmen Sandiego may be the greatest thief of all time... Carmen: "Intelligent woman." - "Labyrinth, Part 1"
Officer: The world owes you a great debt Ms. Sandiego. This [top secret object] is to be unveiled at the world's fair tomorrow. Who knows what use some clever thief would have for it if they ever got their hands on it. Carmen: "Yes, who knows indeed." - "Labyrinth, Part 2: Woman of the Year 2101"
"Eat your heart out Mary Poppins!" - "Just Like Old Times"
"Game's not over until the lady in red sings boys." - "Just Like Old Times"
(as a detective) "That's why you're the henchmen and not the boss." - "Retribution, Part 1"
"Gloating to yourself is one of six signs that you're a psychopath!" - "Retribution, Part 3"
Ivy:
Chief: "Let's go find her!" (makes trumpet effect) Ivy: "Tell it to the compu-kid Chief. I'm ready to hit the C-5 now!" - "Split Up"
"When push comes to shove, shove hard!" - "A Date With Carmen, Part Two"
"Uh-oh. I have a real bad feeling about this." - "A Date With Carmen, Part Two"
"Mr. Baum was right...there is no place like home." - "The Remnants"
"Good-bye Carmen. Hope you found some peace." - "Follow My Footprints"
"Oh really Zack, is that here or on the planet guess again ?!" - "The Trial of Carmen Sandiego"
The Chief:
"Hello! The brain surgeon called! Your parts are in!" - "Split Up"
"You know, why is it when I think I'm about to hear the recess bell, life throws me one of those pop quizzes?!" - "Split Up"
"Why can't I drive? Uh-huh." - "Scavenger Hunt"
"No! Stop! The Hindenburg was bad but- Pat I'd like to buy a vowel and a
constant, n-o spells 'no.' You are not supposed to be here Carmen!" -
"Hot Ice"
"Hey, hey! What am I? A drive-thru window?!" - "Hot Ice"
"Meatloaf ain't got nothing on the Chiefloaf!" - "When it Rains"
"Please don't take my nose! I love my nose! There goes my nose!" - "When it Rains"
Ivy: "Looks like he's getting on his feet, back to business" The Chief: "I don't have feet, but I appreciate the thought!" - "Follow My Footprints"
Chief: "Oh there you are Carmen! Here's the old Chief cryin' like a baby on some big old trick that
somebody pulled on him. Well, I don't think it was clever."
Carmen: "Well the added bonus for me was finding out that you really still care about
me Chief." Chief: "Oh..uh...well, that doesn't mean I won't like to see you behind bars as soon as possible!" Carmen: "Until next crime Chief. I love it when you get so emotionally involved!"
Chief: "Ha ha! Zack, Ivy, we are back in business!" - "Follow My Footprints"
"Deck the Halls with Zack and Ivy, fa la la la la la la la AAAH!" - "Just Like Old Times"
"It's Christmas all right! Know how I know? It's snowing in here!" - "Just Like Old Times"
"Wow! Carmen Sandiego! Haven't seen you in ages!
Hi, how ya doing, kissy-kissy (makes kissing noises) Nice outfit! You have an eye for
color- red, isn't it?" - "Just Like Old Times"
"Insurance alert, insurance alert! The road warrior's driving Miss Daisy! Try steering!" -- "The Trial of Carmen Sandiego"
Zack:
"Marbles don't float in ketchup." - "The Stolen Smile"
"Ivy, we're smart people. So why do we always do things that make us look like we have the intelligence of beef jerky?" - "By a Whisker"
"The ice broke my fall." - "Rules of the Game"
"Well as this detective once said,
Roses are red,
"The ground broke my fall." - "Scavenger Hunt", "All for One"
"If it's bad news, I don't want to hear it!" - "All for One"
"You get the feeling maybe Sarah's finally gone one glazed doughnut short
of a dozen?" - "When it Rains"
"And I just figured out why the brick road is yellow!" - "The Remnants"
Police officer: Halt! (chases after Zack and Ivy ) Zack: "Oh man, not
again! How does Carmen stand this?" - "Labyrinth, Part 2: Woman of the
Year 2101"
"The name is Bond...James Bond and I have a license to throw snowballs!" - "Just Like Old Times"
Zackisms:
dorfbud - "The Stolen Smile"
geekwad - "The Stolen Smile," "All for One," "Boyhood's End, Part 2"
anorexic turtle - "The Stolen Smile"
deckster - "Hot Ice"
Zack and Ivy together:
Ivy: "Today a creep like you, Lee"
Ivy: "We're definitely headed for trouble."
Ivy: "Hey Zack, what are you doing with the Chronoskimmer?"
Sarah Bellum:
"What have we here? A stowaway, eh?" - "Split Up"
"You're a long way from home, Zackary!" - "Follow My Footprints"
Sarah's Mad scene:
Sarah: "I hate to break up this meeting of the Carmen Sandiego Admiration
Society, but I'll be the one collecting the all kudos as soon as the sun comes up!"
Ivy: "Sarah Bellum?"
Zack: "But you work for Carmen! You make all her high tech gadgets!"
Sarah: "Well, I got a little tired of being Carmen's main brain all right Zackary! Nice jacket!"
Zack: (as Sara pulls his shirt over his head): "Hey!"
Sarah: "Maybe I'll get one!"
Zack: "You get the feeling Sara's finally gone one glazed doughnut short of a dozen?"
Sarah: "Even you will have to appreciate the sheer boldness of my caper, Carmen. I'm going to steal the famous Giant of the Attacama!"
Zack: "That's the largest representation of a human figure in the world!"
Sarah: "Perfect for the new larger than life QUEEN OF CRIME herself- ME!"
Ivy: "You've activated the solar furnace!"
Sarah: "And it's already collected enough power to run the super grow lights I've invented!"
Zack: "You're going to grow a tropical rainforest in the desert? Why?"
Sarah: "You know, for a kid genius Zack, you sure are dumb as a wall! The moisture that evaporates will fill the clouds. Then I'll use the Spruce Goose to carry a massive cloud seeding machine that will drop salt crystal that will help it rain, rain, rain!" (laughs)
Ivy: "Do you know what would happen if that much precipitation fell in the driest place in the world?"
Sarah: "Well, let me think Ivy. Ah ha! For one thing I'll be able to float the giant away on massive pontoons and pull of the grandest crime in history!" (laughs more)
Carmen: "Well Sara, I see working alone you took the most rational route, unfortunately- the bridge is out."
Sarah: "The beauty of it that if I succeed, I can tell the police that you did it and the police will find you here- happy to lock you away for all your past, oh so petty crimes! Where on Earth is Sara Bellum has a nice ring to it, don't you think?" - "When it Rains"
Moe Skeeter and Lars Vegas:
Moe: "Uh Lars, the painting's on the wall."
Lars: "Oh great, why do they always cut into my favorite shows with this boring news stuff!"
Suhara:
"A teacher must teach, Zack- so a student can too!" - "Deja Vu"
Zack: "...if you knew oil would dissolve that foam, why did you make me take that shot?" Suhara: "How else would you have known you could?" - "Deja Vu"
Lee's Confrontation:
Lee: What do you think you're doin' locking me out? We're partners!
Carmen: Wrong Lee, we're through. You failed.
Lee: Aw! Failed?! I've proven I can steal anything, anywhere, anytime.
Carmen: By turning your back on my most basic principles.
Lee: Oh, get off it Carmen! You're nothin' but a thief yourself. And just because you pretend it's all a game, doesn't make it any better than what I'm doin'! Face it, we're the same you and me, daring everyone to try
and stop us. You see, the only difference is, I'm not as easily satisfied as you. Your rules bore me, Carmen. You want the game to be over, then it's over. (turns away and begins to exit) I gave Zack and Ivy two clues to my own master crime and they won't even come close to catching me. I'm the best in the world! And you're history Carmen Sandiego! (slams door and
exits)
Carmen: If I'm history, Lee Jordan, then it seems like history is about to
be re-written.
- "Boyhood's End, Part 2"
Town square guy scene:
Teacher: "What did you do this weekend?"
1st student: "I plowed and planted corn."
2nd student: "I studied for my geometry quiz."
3rd student: Huh, huh. Like, I just hung out in the town square.
Pacqual: (slightly paraphrased) "I passed 23 laws, interrupted a peasant uprising, and searched for
intelligent life on other planets."
-"A Higher Calling"
Violets are blue
Carmen is gone,
So what do we do?" - "Chapter and Verse"
Zack: "Tomorrow a crook with class, like Carmen Sandiego." - "Boyhood's End, Part 2"
Zack: "Yeah but it's going to be a fun trip!" - "The Trial of Carmen Sandiego"
Zack: "I was just doing a little tune-up on it and I found out it only goes back in time 10 seconds."
Ivy: "Oh really?" (grabs Chronoskimmer and presses a button.) "Hey Zack, whatcha doing?"
Zack: "I just told you, I have to fix the Chronoskimmer! It only goes back in time 10 seconds."
Ivy: "Really?" (picks up Chronoskimmer and presses a button) "Hey Zacko, whatcha doing?"
Zack: "I just told...NOTHING! I'm not doing anything with it ok?"
Ivy: (with sly grin) "Geez, what's his problem?" - "Timing is Everything"
Lars: "So? We need bolt cutters and-"
Moe: "No, no! I mean the painting is on the wall!"
Lars: "Of course it's on the wall; it's a museum!"
Moe: "It's a fresco!"
Lars: "This is a museum!"
Moe: "No, no! The painting is a fresco which means it's directly painted on the wall!"
Lars: "So, how are we supposed to steal that?" - "Follow My Footprints"
Moe: "Hey! It's Carmen! She is so photogenic!"
Lars: "Uh Moe, what's she doing on TV?"
Both: (running and screaming) "Carmen! The gig is up!" - "Trick or Treat"
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