"Evil Incarnate" by Lio (Author's Note: All right, I have no Idea where this came from but the Idea attacked me in Photo class and hasn't let me go since. I figured the best way to get rid of it was to get it out in the open. Now I might offend people who enjoy the antics of the Sudo-villaness of my story [can't give the name away yet, spoil the surprise!] and if I offend anyone or mess up any info I'm sorry in advance.) It was almost closing time a ACME and Ivy was on the late shift reading the Daily newspaper waiting for something to happen. Suddenly her little brother Zack flew through the doors of the ACME computer room as white as a ghost. "Zack? What wrong? What's happened?" "I....it....horrible..." "Zack speak up! Try to enuciate..." "Ivy...you've got to help me...help me before it gets worse!' He grabbed his sister's hand and the two ran out of ACME and towards the NBC building. "Zack will you please tell me what's happening?" "I saw Carmen breaking into NBC..I followed her to see what she was doing...she walked in on the taping...she was going to leave...but it sucked her in..she couldn't resist..." The two entered the NBC building. It was curiously unlocked and completely dark save for one brightly lit open elevator. "It knows we're here...Ivy would you risk your life to save Carmen for a fate worse than death?" "Maybe, if I knew what it was I was saving her from...Zack what's going on? Is this all a trick?" "No trick. But it may be a trick getting out of this alive...I have to try..will you help me?" "....All right..." The two stepped into the elevator. As Zack nerviously looked at the lights change as they passed each floor, Ivy looked at the elevator car. 'Who would put a lamb-and-hearts pattern on the railing of a highly used elevator?' she asked herself. The door opened on a demonicly glowing pair of double doors. "Ivy, prepare yourself...we're about to meet the ultimate evil." "Zack what's going on?" The double doors flew open. As the light dimmed down Ivy could make out two women figures. The first had tied her long dark hair back into a modest bun. She was wearing a fashonably stencled apron and was holding a hot glue gun. The second had tucked her short bleached blond nouveau pageboy behind her ears and was proudly displaying a Christmas wreath made of dental floss. Both were wearing loose fashionable denium work clothes and old tennis shoes. Ivy stared, stunned that such a thing had happened. "Even though Christmas is over it's not to late to put old dental floss to good use,' the second figure started. "A festive wreath for next year keeps well and can be put to good use afterwards,' finished the first. "Carmen! No!" The first figure started 'Oh, hello Ivy. How has your Christmas been? Do you need to know how to get rid of those pesky leftover fruitcakes constructively?' "Carmen we're here to take you home...' Zack told her soothingly, 'The Chief is concerned about you...me and Ivy are concerned...all of VILE thinks you've gone off the deep end...' "Oh but Zack I've learned how to make an organic pool cleaner made only off fresh fruit and soot from my very own fireplace...," Carmen cooed mindlessly. Zack and Ivy reached out carefully and each took one of Carmen's shoulders and began leading her away. "You can tell us when we get back to ACME..." "But Carmen dear," called out the second figure, "don't you want to know how to make a hang glidder out of maple leaves?" Carmen turned back breaking Zack and Ivy's grasps. "Yes...yes..." Ivy was shocked. "Zack I don't know what to do!" "It's just as I feared. Martha Stewart has gotten to Carmen and she won't let her go!" "Dear if you overlap the leaves like that it will be much more sturdy...," came the voice form the background. "We've got to do something Zack!" "I know! But what?" Ivy concitered, "Maybe we'd better give the domestic Goddess a taste of real domesticity...," she told her brother with a sly look. "No dear with the grain...that's right... there! Now you've embrodiered your very own peace treaty!" Ivy came rushing into the studio decked out in almost the same thing as Martha and Carmen. "Martha! I...I've changed my mind...I don't want to be an ACME agent! I..I want to be your assistant on your show!' "Well this certainly is a change of heart! Were would you like to start?" "Well, what are you doing now?" "Embrodery. It's a good thing. Now where you should start is-" "Right in the middle?" "No dear, near to-" "Because my mom always started in the middle and worked her way out is that how everybody does it? Boy Carmen did some pretty nice stuff! But I didn't think she liked pastels, she's always liked stuff like brown or gold and red. she's always liked red, I don't know why, It is kinda her color. Do you think so Carmen?' "Yes...yes, I've always love red and gold...," Carmen said as if awaking for the first time. "Yes well anyway-" Martha began again. "SIS!!!! SIS?????? WHENAREYOUGONNABEDONE?????????" wailed Zack from the stairwell. "INAMINUTE!" she turned back to Martha starting to show her true colors. "Y'know what's always facinated me? That while Carmen steals everything on the planet and Me and the rest of ACME does everything we can to stop her," began Ivy. "SIS! IT'SBEENAMINUTE!!!" wailed Zack. "And while women all over the world hunger for equallity and rights they've been denied for centuries, even millenias, you focus on bathroom soaps. Doesn't that seem strange?' ended Carmen awake for the first time in hours. Martha began to shrink and writhe she seemed to be trying to keep calm. "OMMMMMM....I am at peace..." "SIS!!!!!!!!!" Zack wailed. That did it. Martha Stewart exploded in a wave of techicolor pastal blood and guts. Carmen smiled, "I had a suspicion she was a nice 'Tea Rose' inside and out..." "Thank you again for saving me, detectives. I couldn't have gotten out of that myself." "Hey, don't worry about it, you'd have done the same thing!" "Though I probably wouldn't have had the courage or know-how to combat something that....evil sounds too mild somehow." "Tell me about it!... Well.. goodnight, Carmen." "Could...could I talk to the Chief for a few minutes?" "Um...all right...but only because he's been worried..." The three walked into the computer room at ACME and saw the entire place had been stencled in pastels. "Oh detecives, I'd thought you'd almost not make it!" cooed the Chief, "I'd like for you to meet our newest ACME agent, Detective Stewart. Don't you love what she's done with headquarters?' Carmen, Ivy and Zack's screams of horror filled the night.